ed sheeran painting mirrored

The Sad, Lonely Life of Ed Sheeran’s Clone

By Mikki Halpin

What if you were a body double for a nobody?

• • •

A-list celebs began employing clones many years ago. It’s the only way to deal with the demands on their time. They can’t be doing photo shoots, appearing on talk shows, dropping albums, and maintaining a strong Instagram presence in the same 24-hour day that ordinary mortals are tied to. So, clones.

Some clones lead fantastic lives. Beyoncé’s has one whose sole job is to get her picture taken on yachts. Yara Shahidi’s clone is going to Harvard with her. Channing Tatum’s clone loves showing up at bachelorette parties and freaking everyone out. Cardi B’s clone has a personal trainer in preparation for debuting Cardi’s post-baby body.

However, there is a dark side. Justin Bieber’s clone is sick of getting tattoos. Some conspiracy theorists picked up on Melania’s clone and she had to go into hiding. Anderson Cooper’s and Andy Cohen’s clones hate each other, but they have to hang out all the time.

Only celebrities who really need clones should get them, and yet there are those who overestimate their stature—and the desire for their presence—and hire a clone who ends up with little to do. Case in point: Ed Sheeran. Are there that many people who want Ed Sheeran around? Of course not. Nevertheless, when Ed saw his celebrity buddies and their clones, he had to have one. This is the story of that clone. His name is Other Ed.

Ed Sheeran pose
ed sheeran with glasses look overs shoulder
ed sheeran selfie with a fan
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harry styles and ed sheeran
ed sheeran store
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ed sheeran baseball game
ed sheeran victoria secret models
ed sheeran phone
ed sheeran throw rubiks cube
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ed sheeran game of thrones
ed sheeran portrait
ed sheeran and wax sculpture
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ed sheeran pink coat pink hat
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ed sheeran guitar

MIKKI HALPIN is the editor in chief of Damn Joan.


Images 1, 3, 7, 8, 11, 12, 14, 16, 20: Alamy. Images 4, 5, 6, 13, 17: Getty. Images 2, 9, 10, 18, 19, 21: Shutterstock. Image 22: Zuma
Published 4-16-2018