Things We Love to Hate

This month’s infuriating, insufferable objects of our inconsistent, possibly unhinged ire.

• • •

1. Water that costs more than $2.
2. People who wear hats too small for their heads.
3. Edison light bulbs, the millennial pink of lighting.
4. Socks that slide into your shoe.
5. Misuse of the word “karma.”
6. Fake pockets. Why.
7. All rose gold needs to be melted down and thrown into space.
8. People who are six seasons behind on a TV show but still freak out about spoilers.
9. Velcro shoes.
10. Velcro in general.
11. Upper lip sweat.
12. Lined notebooks.
13. People who wear headphones with the volume up so loud everyone can hear their music. It is 2017. How is this not a felony?
14. People who refer to public restrooms as bathrooms.
15. Websites that constantly ask me if I want desktop notifications. If you need me, text me.
16. Bad tippers.
17. Sneezing.
18. Block chains.
19. People who touch the interior ceiling when they are in a car. [ED NOTE: We are scratching our heads over this one too, but that’s kind of the point of this list.]
20. “Can I ask you a question?”
21. “Guacamole costs extra.”
22. Sidewalk tailgaters.
23. Brown mustard. Literally an oxymoron.
24. Pen-clicking.
25. “kk.”