Be in the Know About the O
By the Damn Joan Data Survey Information Department
Art by Lynda Lucas
Sometimes the personal is very political. As part of this month’s Damn Joan Survey, we asked more than 700 female and gender-nonconforming Americans whether they would give up their orgasms if it would get President Donald Trump out of office—and a whopping 37 percent of respondents said, “Yes, immediately.” One commenter added, “I’d even give up wine.”
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Not everyone was willing to go so far for their beliefs. Nearly 50 percent said they wouldn’t give up orgasms for anything (fair), while 17 percent said they would prefer Trump stay in office, meaning they’d have their president and their climaxes too, as it turns out.
The Final Tally
Would you give up orgasms to get Donald Trump out of office?
Yes, immediately. 37%
No, I wouldn’t give them up for anything. 46%
I want Donald Trump to stay in office, so, no. 17%
Orgasms: 1, Social Media: 0
When asked, “If your social media accounts automatically announced every time you had an orgasm, what would you do?” users were clear on what really matters, with 62 percent saying they would delete their social accounts immediately. That said, we salute the 6 percent who said they would start faking orgasms just to up their stats—true commitment.
How Ordinary People Describe Their Orgasms
Of course, we had to ask how readers would describe their own orgasms, and the results were…interesting:
• “A really pleasant full-body sneeze.”
• “It’s like when you intensely need to pee, like you’ve been stuck in a car drinking a liter of cola for three hours and are about to explode, but you make it to the bathroom and finally get to relax.”
• “It’s an overwhelming feeling of ecstasy that is such a rush and lasts for a while.”
• “It's like I can feel my pulse in between my legs. As if there was a little troll that ran up inside me and started rolling around.”
• “A need that begins as an inclination and escalates to the point of absolute necessity, grasping tighter and more desperately until, at last, that need is met and everything dissolves in absolute surrender.”
• “Pops of electric energy explode throughout my cells.”
• “Like getting to the top of a roller coaster and feeling weightless.”
• “I feel myself climbing the mountain. I worry I won’t make it. Then, without warning, the summit comes to meet me and I explode.”
• “Turning to sugar all over, then turning inside out pleasurably.”
• “It's all the energy that exists, boiling up until it explodes, like the whistle of a kettle.”
• “It's like butterflies consuming your insides, taking your breath away. At the same time, a cool chill comes over you, causing you to slightly tremble.”
Orgasms matter, mostly
When asked how important orgasms are in their life, 68 percent of respondents said that they were extremely or moderately important, with 32 percent saying they were either not that important or totally unimportant.
Number of servings per session
Nearly half of respondents said that they usually have one orgasm per sexual encounter. Seven percent said that they regularly have four or more orgasms at a time, which explains all of those people who seem to be smiling for no reason at all.
What's the frequency, Kenneth? No, really, what is it?
More than 73 percent of respondents have had an orgasm within the last month...but 6 percent haven’t had one in a year, and 12 percent couldn’t even remember when they last had one. (If this is you, and you wish to change the situation, we suggest heading to your nearest Babeland.)
It takes two, babe (or more)
Close to half of respondents (42 percent) said that during sex, usually both they and their partners have an orgasm. A lucky 7 percent said that both participants usually have multiple orgasms. Partners also help with orgasm quality: 65 percent of respondents said they had better orgasms with a partner, compared with 26 percent who said they get a better O when they go it alone.